Plastic straws are better than paper straws

Do you know what triggers the Politically Correct Brigade the most?

Plastic straws.

Mention that you dislike using a paper straw in a peanut butter smoothie because it loses its firmness and becomes useless, and you will unleash the wrath of the self righteous left.

George Carlin succinctly summarised such irrational people.

On social media I said that I will not buy metal straws because I don’t like them and don’t want to carry around a straw, and that I will continue to use plastic straws. (Obviously in thick drinks; no man drinks whisky through a straw.)

Hell hath no fury like a progressive scorned.

The knee-jerking hit like planes against the Twin Towers.

My favourite is the comment linking my preference for plastic straws to apartheid and farm murders.

It’s known as a straw-man argument.



Here’s why the outraged responses are worthy of ridicule: they’re illogical. Not one of the morally superior folks asked what I do with the straws once I’m done using them.

Recycling. It’s a thing.

I rarely use a straw for anything, but when I do, I don’t drive to the beach and throw it into the ocean. I also don’t throw empty plastic water bottles or plastic bags onto the ground. People who do that - and there are many - deserve to be punched in the face.

My parents taught me not to litter.

Recycling is a perfectly brilliant solution to disposing and reusing of plastic. It boosts the economy, employment, and research. (Plastics are a byproduct of crude oil production.)

But the bourgeois liberals don’t care about pragmatism; they care only about being offended so that they can appear virtuous while preaching from their pulpit.

The government is the problem.

The government (in this case, the South African government) regulates and manages, via a dedicated department, what happens with waste. When the private sector operates in this field, like recycling agencies and refuse collection companies, they do so with permission and oversight from the government.

The Department of Environmental Affairs is one of the departments of the South African government. It is responsible for protecting, conserving and improving the South African environment and natural resources.

If my plastic straw ends up killing a turtle off the coast of Costa Rica, then that is primarily the fault of the government and its failure to manage waste efficiently and effectively.

After my plastic straw comes to rest in the appropriately labelled bin, I’ve done my bit. In fact, after picking up other people’s rubbish lying on the bricks and chucking it into the appropriately labelled bins, I’ve done more than my bit.

The Politically Correct Brigade should rather focus their energy on the companies and the government who promise-but-fail to follow through on their environmental mandates.

I will gladly use a non-plastic straw in a peanut butter smoothie, so long as it maintains its firmness throughout. And no, just like I don’t carry around cutlery, I am not going to carry around a metal straw.

Besides, environmentalists don’t give a shit about the planet. Not in the abstract they don’t. You know what they’re interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They’re worried that some day in the future they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn’t impress me.
— George Carlin